I was reminded of fantastic book by Dr. Gabor Mate, "In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts" He is a brilliant and wonderful soul. Addictions aren't always a physical thing such as drugs, gambling, shopping, alcohol...we also can get addicted to emotional patterns and behaviors.
If we grew up in an unstable environment, chaos, abuse,lack of: love ,care , emotional physical, spiritual, support ,feelings of rejection ect...we can become addicted to these emotional behaviors and patterns. From others and within ourselves (as within- so without)
We then attract on a subconscious level situations/people/relationships into our lives that perpetuate these cycles .
Until we see and acknowledge these unconscious behaviors we will just keep going around and around. (Look up Eternal return, Nietzsche )
Not really understanding why things are never "working out for us" then we stay stuck in victim or abuser mentality.
Or think we are just unlucky. And want to just give up and throw the towel in and say ," well that's just how it is ,I'm doomed . " (pessimist/lack mindset)
🍀Luck is merely merit based on energy put in, through our daily interactions & actions accumulated over time .(optimist/abundance mindset) ll
( Read that again )
This scale isn't just black or white but shades of grey to the levels of intensity. We project and experience these behaviors.
We all do it and all have done it . There is no shame, blame or guilt to accepting this as part of the beautifully messy, yet complex nature of being human. (Acceptance/letting go/forgiveness)
This is all part of the spiritual lesson curriculum in life school, on planet earth.
The goal is to break these old cycles and free ourselves from the chains of the old way of being /doing. To find your unique path ,that works for you 💕 (social , religious, society conditioning...)
Change is and can be scary even if it means your going to feel peace and joy .
And this is also a cautionary part of the journey to be mindful of .
It's easy to sabotage ourselves at this point and go back to the warm fuzzy familiar surroundings of toxic behavior, patterns and situations.
Because it's what we know.
It takes a lot of hard work, personal focus, inner strength & determination to break out of the old stuck ways.
Focusing on yourself and not worrying about what others are thinking/ doing while going through this will make it easier to stay on course . (Going inwards/ Self care/love)
When we start our healing journey and go through a tower moment in our lives it can be an extremely challenging and intense time of transformation (tarot research the symbol to understand more ) It feels like everything is blowing up and being leveled to the ground around us. (Our belief systems, social circles, relationships, a lot of endings)
This can lead to an ego/spiritual death, or the hardest path dark night of the soul.
You may literally even feel like your dying and the whole world around you is falling apart, if it's intense enough.
Some of us even have multiple experiences with these. It's brutal and very humbling.
Each soul chooses the level of intensity based on your personal soul path and how much you want to level up this round.
If you choose a very difficult path, know that you are a very special and powerful old soul to choose that journey.🙏🪶
Be proud of that, as your higher self ( the smart part of myself is what I refer to this side 😉 ) not the human self that is ego/pride based, knows exactly what you need to come out stronger ,wiser and a more healed grounded version of yourself.
Dark night is not for a novice soul.
Find a good friend /counselor/therapist/look for resources that understand this process.
Connecting to a higher power (the Universe,God , Divine, Spirit , Mother Nature Ancestors..whatever your spiritual faith feels right to you or healing energy source -water ,earth, air, fire ) practicing daily positive affirmations/ meditations / gratitude will help greatly with the process of inner shadow work.
This isn't easy work but nothing great was ever achieved by taking shortcuts or the easy road.
Slow and steady, one step ,one challenge, one day at a time .
Breath ...Ground 😉
Sending lots of love, blessings and healing to those who may be going through this challenging and trans-formative time.
I understand ,it's not easy, your not alone !